Summer holidays and talking, a lot!

 I am truly terrible for not posting in so long! But here I am! 

Adi is now nearing 20 months next weekend, he is developing his intellect and personality so quickly and is truly a larger than life, jovial and affectionate character.

We have recently been on holiday to The Isle of Wight. Adi loved it all and had so much fun on beaches, a steam train and with donkeys amongst other things.

The last couple of days we've spent with my best friend as she's between jobs. It was so much fun to have her with us we went to the park and to a children's city farm.

Adi loved it all and had an amazing time, especially feeding the sheep! It felt so funny as they licked the food off his hand with their tongues! 

Adi is growing up and can say lots of words,  here are most of them...I think....

Mummy, daddy, fruit, water, apple, bus, man, girl, plum, phone, banana, cracker, melon, crisps, raisin, cake, juice, porridge, "mato" (tomato), "tata" (potato), "berry" (raspberries, blueberries, strawberries etc), tea, milk, cheese, toys, doggy, kitty, "baa baa"(sheep) car, tractor, duck, Buddha, nappy, door, spider, bee, closed, "up" (I want you to pick me up) , duddle (cuddle) , star, moon, boat, dig, run, one, two three, nine, ten, go, dirty, wet, beebie (cbeebies children's TV channel), "buck" (help me do up my buckle on highchair/carseat/pram etc) , "peese" (please), "kakow" (thank you), bye, hi, hiya, head, toe, hand (please hold my hand), step, stair, "tops-tim" (Topsy and Tim children's book), book, bed, noise, gate, ball, open, road, "ga-ga" (garden) , flower, pretty, "airplane" (aeroplane)....

And can string a couple of words together for example "daddy's tea" and "mummy's apple"!

He is starting to really relax into swimming lessons and has just moved upto the 18 month-3 year age class group. He can just touch the bottom at the most shallow side of the baby pool (0.7m depth). He laughs and splashes and kicks his feet.

He loves to run after pigeons, stroke dogs and cats, play chase and peek-aboo. He loved being on the beach on holiday but refused to go at daddy's pace with paddling in the sea or making sand castles preferring to get used to the new environment first.

He's very noisy, chatty and stubborn (he definitely knows his own mind). He makes strangers laugh in shops by putting his hands over his eyes and playing peekaboo with them! He calls out "bye" to strangers, trains, trams, and dogs. He still loves his books and his favourite toy is a yellow bus. He means the world to us and we're so loving watching and helping him learn and grow, and I'm loving seeing my husband become the wonderful father he was put on this earth to become. Adi adores his daddy who cuddles him, cycles with him on the front, plays ball with him, reads with him, makes him laugh and laugh uncontrollably and teaches him about how the world works.

Our second child is now well on his way into our arms, we are at 23 weeks and 3 days pregnant! Our beautiful surrogate Katie is happy and healthy and just sometimes suffers back pain.  She's a wonderful kind person and we've become great friends. She has three young children herself so stays super busy!

And motherhood? I am LOVING it, wish every woman and man who's dreaming of having a child could have one, or two little angels to fill their hearts, lives and importantly.....Their summer holidays! :)

Here are some pics!

Shakti x 

Back on the road.....to become somebody elses mum

Hello fellow bloggers, 

Wow after not having posted in months it feels strange to be posting now. 

I've decided to revive my blog because, well it seems a good time to because hmmmm.....we're pregnant! 

It's a long story. 
But first I'd love to update on little Adi. He can now walk, he's trying to talk, he can communicate with yes and no. He loves cheese, playing, trying to eat non-edible items and reading books. He dislikes,... Lots of foods, being told he can't pull, grab or hit and nappy changes.
He's now 15 months. For his first birthday we had a party. I read out my speech 
"As you all know, we had a long hard struggle to get here. I can’t believe our little boy is just about to turn one year! We have survived a whole year of parenthood! This time last year we were in Delhi eagerly, nervously excitedly awaiting Adi’s arrival. Being over there for the first 9 weeks  was an exciting, terrifying, mind-opening experience. It tested us and challenged us all. What a difference a year makes!

Now to you my little star! I have many nicknames for you because each of them somehow represents you in my quirky mind, a different way in which I love you. You are to me, my Dotty, Dot, My little lump of love, my chicken, chicken lips, Baby pigeon, pidge, Adiba, Adibabaa, Adibadoba and Adiba-boma. To Daddy, you are ‘my boy’ , my little man, little monkey, shnookie-bum.

You have changed our lives in so many ways. You have bought us both our dream of parenthood. You have brought us the gift of new life. But you have also turned out so far to be quite a little character. You cried loudly, very loudly from day 1, you winced when daddy used a flash to take a photo of you twenty minutes after you emerged into this big, noisy, beautiful world. You screamed blue murder when we gave you your first bath and you had your way of letting the world know exactly what you wanted from day one. As the days, weeks and months went on you have continued to be noisy but now not just when you are sad but also when you are happy! You screech screams of pure delight and giggle and laugh loudly to let us know you are having fun! You now crawl around quickly and climb the stairs with enthusiasm and gusto-to the point of getting out of breath! You are ambitious, locate and then go for all the items you are not allowed to play with, mummy and daddys mobile phones, cables, tv remote controls to name a few. You are eager to talk and babble and gabble away, so close to saying so many words. Then there’ll be no stopping you!

You are already larger than life in character and I constantly have to remind myself you are only 1. I have found it amazing and awe-inspiring that such a small creature can fill up such a huge space in  our hearts, minds, and lives!

So here’s to you Adi, our little boy, our little monkey. Thank-you for coming into our lives and being who you are. Happy 1^st Birthday gorgeous boy." 

His character has continued to grow. He's a beautiful child and we are so happy. 

More news to come soon 

Shakti x 

8 months!!!

Adi at 16 hours old so you can compare with now

I do not know where to start now I've stopped blogging for so long, I hope followers

will forgive me and allow it to be treated as a long pause....

We are all well and happy. Adi is now 8months old. He is sitting up alone, eating mashed up solid foods, trying to crawl and teething. He laughs a lot, cries loudly and stares/smiles/laughs at strangers. The latter leads to some wonderful one sided awkward conversations between me and said stranger on buses and trains where I follow Adi's stare, find myself staring at same stranger and say to Adi "oh are you making friends with that nice lady/man/dog/child?!

He enjoys being around people and gets excited easily. He's very sociable. He's making wonderful sounds like nanana dadada gagaga. It won't be long before he's talking. He kicks his strong legs hard when I'm changing him. He waves his arms like a bird when he's excited. He shakes his head in a fun game rather than to say no. He still doesn't know what no means. When I say no to him he laughs at me, hard.

Having a child is even harder than I expected. It's also ten times more wonderful. He is our world and we both dote on him. My hubby is wonderful with him, and they've developed a tight father son bond.

I'm about to start work as a nanny, I'll take Adi to work with me. I couldn't face leaving him especially after all we've been through. We have cut living costs so I can take a reduced wage from my previous career of school teacher.

He met his Great Grandmother for the first time recently. He has two sets of grandparents as well. Not bad eh?

Have a beautiful and wonderful day full of love.

Shakti x

Home!

We are home!

Welcome home banner and balloons my parents had put up!

Events took a turn for the worst and my hubby fell ill. We travelled with Adi on an emergency travel document and arrived home last week.

Adi giving us a wink to let us know everything would turn out just fine

We had quite a chaotic end to our stay in Delhi therefore and a rushed journey home. Poonam was wonderful and calmed us down with sturdy advice. We did have an amazing time in Delhi looking back, it was quite an experience! 


It is freezing cold here in the UK! We have had snow for the past few days. We have only taken Adi out briefly for a quick dash to the car and havn't ventured further yet. He doesn't seem to mind the cold as much as we do!









Adi is growing well, he was 5.77 kg at last weigh in so larger than average for an 8 week old! He is starting to coo and ahh and make more eye contact and smiles and giggles sometimes!!

We are settling back in nicely and preparing ourselves for the final phase gaining a full British passport for Adi and a parental order through the High Court.

Please do write to me for any advice on guidance on any part of the process upto this point whether it be on the search for more affordable accommodation, complex legal processes, or medical questions. I am happy to oblige!

Peace to you all

Adi being burped in his new bib from Millie

Week 2, 3, 4 and the Taj...oh and a brand new subject of her majesty!

So I haven't written in weeks so this is a round-up!

Adi's Week 2 and 3 of life were tough for us all as we didn't realise why he was so tetchy after feeds, turns out he has severe wind problems (or gas for those 'state-side'). So now we put about forty minutes effort in winding him again and again until he's comfortable after a feed.

He is growing very well and last weigh-in on friday he was 4.2kg! He is starting to engage more and he is just wonderful to be around!

We received confirmation from the UKBA in Liverpool that his citizenship application was successful! So that took 3 weeks in total from sending off the application to the certificate being produced - not too bad at all! And this is exactly how long Poonam expected it to take from recent experience of other new British parents. She is a god-send, really helpful and knowledgeable. Next stage is -we hope to apply for his passport next week, which should take 5 weeks maximum according to recent experience.

In other news - my mum is here to visit which is lovely. Adi really took to her immediately and she adores Adi. We have been out to see a few sights and to the Taj yesterday! It was a long journey but WOW what an amazing sight!

My hubby has started learning Hindi and impresses the locals with his new skills. We are also less likely to get over-charged as we come across as more experienced!

Will write again soon! If you have any questions other UK IP's please do email on roadtobaacom@gmail.com

Namaste!

Week 1 of Adi's life

Wow what a week!

The first 24 hours at the apartment were....a nightmare. He was upset and unsettled. We stayed up holding him in shifts all night as he would cry when put down.

Then something switched in Adi's head.

He decided actually he might quite like us.

And he slept.

So he has been sleeping a lot since, admittedly mostly in the day and he's awake sometimes at night, but we can't expect Rome to be built in a day.

He's amazing and we are so happy.

Tips we have learnt on entering parenthood

When making formula - put water in bottle first and then powder, as otherwise the powder displaces the water and you end up without enough water in the bottle....

If you have huge problems with wind, you can burp your baby halfway through feed and after feed, and you can use slightly warmed up water for formula.

Babies cry for anywhere upto 2 hours a day without Colic and upto 6 hours with colic, don't get too wound up when your baby cries or it winds baby up too.

Don't be too quick to give a pacifier, as its hard to stay awake at night putting it back in baby's mouth every ten minutes when they push it out and then start crying. But use it when crying persists.

Don't be alarmed when baby's poo turns colour - we've been through brown, cream, green and its like pesto consistency, apparently this is all normal for formula fed babies.

Music is a god-send, bring over cd's with baby lullabies, soft songs you like to listen to as parents and some more upbeat stuff for when baby is wide awake. It cheers you up, and relaxes both you and your baby.

My advice is stay near a green space as its amazing to be able to go out with baby in the early days to a park and just sit there for ten minutes rather than stay in all day. Also get an apartment with a balcony which isn't onto a main road/out the back and front. We love sitting out for a bit each day with and without Adi.

He's doing so well and we are still over the moon.

Legal stuff

We are starting the application for citizenship with Poonam tomorrow. It will be great to get the application in and then sit back and wait for that to come through.....in some weeks time.

That's all for now.

Love to you all.

Anna x

It's a BOY!

Our baby boy was born yesterday afternoon! Adi George Francis was born at 2.38pm and weighed 7 pounds exactly. He is a happy, healthy boy who is feeding well. We were next door waiting anxiously and we both cried with joy when the doctor told us! We both cuddled him today and I gave him a feed.

From a pair of super happy new parents!!!!

 

We would love to greet you as God has blessed you with a verysmart & beautiful baby boy.

  

We all are very happy for you as you have got the most precious present.

We are so glad as you have been blessed with a healthy baby boy. We wish that he will make all your dreams come true one day and he will add pride and honor to your name.

Please find his details below:

Date:     21st January, 2012

Gender:  Male

T.O.B:   2:38 PM

Weight:  3.18 kg

I've been a naughty blogger

OK- so I've been naughty and not updated lately...at all.

The main reason is that when things haven't gone so well - I haven't wanted to share the news, as I always wanted 'my next post' to be positive, that was what was 'supposed' to happen...so I held off.

Then when things started going well I didn't want to tempt fate and blog 'in celebration' since I thought then the good times wouldn't last!

So here we are, in different topic areas:

Pregnancy 

The baby is growing very well. We are at 34 weeks 4 days and our last specialist scan was two days ago. We had a specialist scan because of the persisting amniotic band - first seen about 10 weeks ago. Well - it is still persisting but not causing any problems at the moment. The baby appears happy and healthy, and in breech position...eeek! I know there is still time for him/her to turn around but I have a feeling he/she will not do that.
But we are happy all is well.

Visa
We got clearance!!!! Yayyyy! We received it around 2 weeks ago , just before Christmas. We did have to chase and chase and chase it through though! But then.....just as we relaxed in jubilation and celebration.....they gave us the WRONG VISA!

Wrong visa
So they gave us both Entry Visas....and that is what we applied for. However in between applying and getting clearance there was a period of 3 months and a whole big thing about how we needed to supply all the extra documentation and get a medical visa, so we presumed that the visa office might have sorted that out and they would have then been processed as medical visa applications, but no... *sigh*


So now we are trying to get them changed. *sigh again*

Flights
We really would like the visas changed over soon as we are booked to fly on the 14th JANUARY!!!! In 12 days time!!!!!!!! I know we are cutting it fine....through absolutely no fault of our own.


When in Delhi
We then must apply for extensions to our visas so they last 6 months instead of the current 3 months :-( And THEN finally we get to relax....for a small amount of time.....and await the arrival of our baby!!

Packing in UK in preparation
So I nearly have every item we want to take, awaiting some trousers in the post for my hubby and some sandals for me. Have got all the baby stuff and pre-washed it all. Have picked out baby clothes I want to take and they take up WAY more space than anticipated! I have bought new suitcases as we didn't have any large enough and we are allowed 46KG (spread across two bags) EACH with Jet Airways! Yippeeee!

So this week and next week I am preparing all the documents we need to take and packing our bags!

Inducing lactation
Ok male readers please stop reading.....NOW,....unless you don't mind reading about boobies and inducing milk production

I have decided to stop trying to induce lactation which was by pumping and taking loads of domperidone. It would have, I imagaine, been managable in the case of a UK Surrogacy/early adoption but I just couldn't carry on with the regime of pumping every 2-2.5 hours through the days and then once at night whilst going through baby pick-up in Delhi with a stay of 3-4 months!

 We will have plenty to do out and about with trips to the FRRO, trips to see sights and then when our baby is born getting used to actually having a baby!!!! I just couldn't manage another unknown new experience on top of all this. Also I couldn't face the prospect of failure - of not producing much (if any) milk and feeling my body has let me down AGAIN. It's frustrating as I spent out on the meds and the pump but I guess at least I tried (part) of the process. I guess I would have always wondered if I hadn't tried part of it at least.

So there it is, our lives, updated to current time!

Happy New Year everyone. 

I hope that 2013 brings you all the luck, love and happiness in the world!!

UPDATE - We got the go ahead to change our visas next week! Yipeeeee...double plus good as then the visa will start from next week rather than from 20th December yayy!

Letter from FCO UK to use with medical visa application

I found this on friday whilst researching the topic on the internet

http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/travel-and-living-abroad/travel-advice-by-country/asia-oceania/india#entryreqs

Go to this 'notice' link under

"We are aware that some British nationals wanting to travel to India for surrogacy purposes have been asked to apply for a medical, and not a tourist visa. We have not yet been able to confirm that this is a new requirement for all British nationals travelling for surrogacy purposes, but this notice, produced by the British High Commission based on Indian Ministry of Home Affairs’ guidelines, provides further information. There are a number of criteria to meet to get a medical visa, so we advise British nationals to seek advice before undertaking the surrogacy process. The British High Commissionwebsite provides information about acquiring British nationality for a child under these circumstances, and the time this process takes."

And you see this list...

Then ctrl + click on 'A letter of support for you to submit'

And you see this....

<---------






We were allowed to add it to our visa application yesterday with an urgent request for updated information as to the progress of our visa application because we are 7 months into a surrogacy pregnancy and have been asked to travel over at week 37 (January 20th)

Please also bare in mind we had a letter from Natalie Gamble stating the laws involved and that our child will be born British and a letter saying similar from an Immigration lawyer. This letter was therefore in addition.

Good luck everyone!

SR xxx

Unresolved issues

So I thought it was time I updated with a few honest truths...I was holding back from updating this blog, in the vane hope that my next update-post would be after these issues were more resolved.

Firstly, during our last official scan, 3 and a half weeks ago, Dr Jolly saw an amniotic band in Ms R's uterus. This news terrified us until Dr V did an in-depth scan two days later, and said it was posing no risk at present and our baby is growing well (in fact our baby appears to be ahead of average by 2 weeks in terms of size and weight)!

Secondly we still do not have our visas. The manager at the visa processing centre said it should take about 6 weeks more as we are of Pakistani origin....the decision has for this reason been referred onto the HCI in Delhi you see.

That was 6 and a half weeks ago.

I am starting to get really nervous now. There is no telling how much longer they could take over this, in fact there is nothing definite to say they will certainly grant us visas at all...

On a more positive note, we have made big progress in the nursery with a beautiful bamboo cot which we got second hand from a lovely lady who is moving back to NZ with her two little ones so doesn't need it anymore.

We also put up these two shelves

Good luck to everyone at all stages. I'm busying myself with a material collage for the nursery and in forcing myself to go against my natural pessimistic instincts and remain positive. :-)

How many people does it take to raise a child?

I recently read the book called 'Bringing in Finn' by Sara Connell, which I loved... this African proverb was mentioned in the book and it really got me thinking ...

This proverb seems particularly poignant and appropriate for people going through surrogacy and adoption. The many people who have already been such a crucial part of our baby's life :
 me, my husband- for supporting both me and the pregnancy without question every minute of every day, our beautiful donor, our amazing surrogate,my parents-for helping us to make this happen and for helping us over many obstacles, my best friend Emma- who's helped save me from going too insane with lengthy inspiring and soul-strengthening discussions on all my worries....Dr S, Meg, Margarida, Dr J, Dr V, the many staff at SCi who ensure we know what's happening every step of the way, my extended family, my boss who helped grant me time off as needed...I could go on...

It also seems that it's relevant for everyone who has children within their family and friend network and community. There are certain roles which everyone hopes parents will take on after having a baby. However it seems there are so many other tasks of guidance, role modelling and teaching which one hopes others will take on. We hope that friends and family members, teachers and staff at school, school friends and peers as the child's growing up will all show our child good ways to behave, how to be kind and considerate. We hope these people will show our child how to teach others and how to learn well from others. Our hopes stretch right out to the community, hoping that it will be a safe and clean environment, kept that way by everyone. Hopes that strangers will be kind to our child thus showing our child that thats the way to behave towards strangers within their immediate and their world community.

Perhaps it really does take a village to raise a child. Perhaps we have all been a part of 'raising a child' already, sometimes without even realising it.