So we are both now very stressed out, it all began on monday.
The Indian Visa office here in London contacted my hubby and asked him to check his email. In his email inbox it stated that his visa application had been returned with a request for further information. *GULP*
They have requested that we provide some more information.
They are treating our visa application under some brand new Indian laws on surrogacy.
These laws state that anyone travelling over for surrogacy must provide ALL of the following documents...
These laws are intended to limit new agreements taking place and so are really for people starting the process....so they are treating us as though we are about to start the process by travelling over to begin treatment and set up the agreement etc....which as you know is not the case, we are at 22 weeks and our baby is on our way, whether anyone likes it or not....I digress, the documents they require are for a medical visa,....
The documents required:
The Indian Visa office here in London contacted my hubby and asked him to check his email. In his email inbox it stated that his visa application had been returned with a request for further information. *GULP*
They have requested that we provide some more information.
They are treating our visa application under some brand new Indian laws on surrogacy.
These laws state that anyone travelling over for surrogacy must provide ALL of the following documents...
These laws are intended to limit new agreements taking place and so are really for people starting the process....so they are treating us as though we are about to start the process by travelling over to begin treatment and set up the agreement etc....which as you know is not the case, we are at 22 weeks and our baby is on our way, whether anyone likes it or not....I digress, the documents they require are for a medical visa,....
The documents required:
Ø The couple should be married for two years (Marriage certificate)
We've been married just under 2 months not 2 years! But further advice from them said it should be sufficient we proove the duration of our relationship prior to marriage & explain delaying marriage.
We've been married just under 2 months not 2 years! But further advice from them said it should be sufficient we proove the duration of our relationship prior to marriage & explain delaying marriage.
Ø The clinic should be recognised by ICMR (Indian council Medical Research) to conduct Surrogacy treatment. Hmmmmm we are working on this one
Ø The letter from the home country of the applicants- Foreign office (FCO/foreign Ministry in this case) should provide the confirmation in the letter that surrogacy is recognised in their country and child would be allowed in the country (applicant’s home country) post birth.
This one is by far the toughest one since nobody's interested in UK government, but our solicitor has helped us....
This one is by far the toughest one since nobody's interested in UK government, but our solicitor has helped us....
Ø The surrogacy agreement (Notarized)between couple and the surrogate mother in India, including the expense cover during the treatment of surrogacy for both child and mother (surrogate).
Done - Check!
Done - Check!
Ø The letter from the Surrogacy clinic undertaking the surrogacy treatment including the names of both the parties involved.
Done - Check!
Done - Check!
Ø The couple should furnish an undertaking that they would take care of the child born through surrogacy.
Done - Check!
I've been off work all week, with my new job being to beg, email, call nationally and internationally, visit visa offices, beg some more for the tricky documents above.
We are both terrified but hubby handles it much better than me. I can't sleep, eat , do anything really. Items keep moving from the 'list of worst case scenarios we can't discuss as they're too painful to consider as outcomes' onto the 'list of things we must consider and confront and address even though they're absolutely terrifying in every way'.
I feel like our baby is moving away from us. We no longer have much certainty in our route towards him/her.
Any ideas welcome.
SR x
I am like your hubby, don't stress or worry about things you have no control over, you are like my wife. You will get there (Delhi), its just paperwork and bureaucrats. We got our 22 week scan last night. See you in Delhi in late Jan.
ReplyDeletePete (Aussie Pete) and Lynda.
Thanks Pete, but other Brits will not have been classified under the brand new Indian visa law . It's paperwork that could in a very real way stop us from being the parents of our child. Hope your wife is ok. Tell her she can msg me any time :-)
DeleteJust keep thinking, others have done it before you! You will be fine, one step at a time and breath :)
ReplyDeleteHi GSB, unfortunately nobody has been treated under this new Indian law, its brand new and we are some of the guinea pigs.
DeleteDeep breath. Provide them with everything and more. YOu'll get through it - perhaps contact Poonam?!, she could offer some advice. If you want Poonam's details contact me on the Forum - "Astrid".
ReplyDeleteThanks Saskia, Poonam did help out
DeleteAnna, you know I am just a click away in e-mail, me you, richard your hubby aussie pete and his wife will all be in Dehli at the same time showing offour babies to each other. I know its eaiser said then done because I would be just like you worried to death. Have you talked to SCI see what they say? I know you will be there, we have talked on the phone and through e-mail I am always here if you need me. We are 23 and 22 weeks apart and we will be in dehli in january and be laughing about all this stuff and crying with tears of joy with you while we have our bundles of joys. Love you take care, i got you and Richard!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Michael, I hope all our dreams come true xx
DeleteI'm not sure if the laws are actually into effect yet, so it may be that the consulate is trying to prepare for everything JIC. I'll have to look into it. Or maybe it is specific to UK? What does your clinic say? You're with SCI, right?
ReplyDeleteAll in all, this may be scary but please don't worry that you won't get your baby - that's not going to happen. They may throw some serious scary things your way, but it's such a big business over there, that they really don't want the bad publicity that a "stateless" baby would cause. Think about it - out of all the surrogacy cases that occur in India, that has only happened once (to the German couple whose country didn't recognize surrogacy) and was one of the driving forces behind the new laws. (There may have been a Japanese one too, I don't remember now, but it would have been the same problem.)
You'll get to take your baby home. Just bring your best momma bear attitude, while still trying to be respectful. Get your clinic involved. If you don't see results with you talking to people, try getting your husband too. Sometimes there are cultural differences that will get better results if the man is doing it.
Pester pester pester. My husband says you have to tell people in India things at least 3x to make sure to get it done (and he was talking about in person!) I had to do that just to make sure he was picked up at the airport in time. Since he is Indian, I will take him at his word and have learned to be the pester queen (which is totally against my natural personality.)
You'll get your baby. Refocus the terror (I know - easier said than done) and do what you have to do. Just a few more months and s/he will be in your arms. HUGS!!!
I saw yesterday that the consulate for UK has much stricter rules now than US. I'm so sorry for your all your pain. Hopefully you will get through all the red tape soon.
DeleteHi PTB,
DeleteYes I imagined it was the UK Indian high commission being difficult, so typical....we got all of our docs (that we could provide - not all they had requested) in to them on tuesday, they are bringing our apps together so hubby now treated as referral (pakistani origin) so may not hear back for 6 weeks or longer. Yes we are tired of red tape. It's terrifying when someone else has control over your experience of something so personal and life-changing :'(
Hopefully they are not giving extra stress becz of his origin, but I can see it happening. Hoping you get it resolved soon.
DeleteHey Hon, stay strong and keep focused you guys can get through this, get as much info as poss for them and keep thinking about the little cutie that awaits you in Jan! x
ReplyDeleteYes that's exactly what I can't stomach thinking of, what if our beautiful little one is awaiting us and we can't be there?!?!
DeleteHi, I am sorry to hear you are having this experience, so stressful. I am not sure if you read Jacarandas blog but they had the similar issues with her husbands medical visa when applying from Australia. Unfortunately for them the visa never came and hubby (biological father) was unable to travel to Delhi.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that Jacaranda was able to complete the exit process without dad being there, with the help of Poonam and she is home safely with baby.
I know this is not what you want to happen and damn it - should not have to happen - hopefully he will receive his visa. I guess I wanted to say there are options and that as fragile and vulnerable as you feel right now, you will be able to handle these things because thats what mums do.
We are thinking of you and sending our best wishes.
Yes thank-you, I have a feeling that would never be possible for us as *entry to the UK is very long and drawn out compared to entry to Oz *Hubby passes down his Brit citizenship as he's the genetic father, so I can't do anything to help and return alone with baby * If hubby doesn't get his visa I won't get mine as we both applied for same type and they're now being treated under one application, it's all in or.....
DeleteHi Shakti - I am about to start my journey and I know this is the area that stresses me out already. However - keep remembering all the babies who are home now in the UK. Thanks for sharing this as without a doubt at some point this will now also affect us coming home from Dehli. Any info you can share is so helpful to others behind you on the journey. I pray you are home soon and remember we are just being tested...all the best
ReplyDeleteSTAK
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DeleteHi Sue, thanks for your message. Yes it appears all who went before us applied for tourist visas and weren't silly enough to apply for entry/medical. Also before the new law came into place last month,even if UK IP's had applied for entry/medical and been honest about the purpose of trip, these previous IP's would not have been asked for all these impossible documents to even start the process, since the new law wasn't being used.....You're right though we are trying to think of it like a horrible maths exam, only harder and more life-changing....but also more character building. Please do ask me Q's as I'm happy to help.
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